I don't know if that's good or bad. [ Johnny huffs and gestures him over. ] Get your princely ass over here, babe. I need you to fix the sheets up for me.
[ And, naturally drawn to the noise, Shadow slinks in and mews importantly, dropping two snakes onto the carpet. Someone has her own contributions to make. ]
[Jack starts to finish Johnny's work on the sheets, but he's distracted by the little black cat. He goes over and crouches down, sighing as he studies the snakes.]
These aren't from the same nest as the ones she brought in this morning. [How does he know?] These aren't venomous.
[ Shadow is purring, proud of herself as she delicately licks her paws before rubbing herself against Jack. Johnny stares at that Jack for a long moment. ]
Nest? There's a nest of venomous snakes around? [ More importantly: ] How do you even know it isn't?
[ Johnny keeps himself parked as far away from the bodies of the dead snakes as he can. He's not terrified of them, he just doesn't like them. Shadow lies down next to them, nudging the snakes towards the giant fleshy pink kitten who doesn't seem capable of hunting for himself.
She's looking out for you too, Jack. ]
They're all wet and gross, Jack. How are you not freaked out by those guys?
[Jack tilts his head at him, his eyes a little wider and brighter, like he's just seen something about Johnny that he hasn't noticed before. Impossible, at least physically. He has every inch of his body memorized.
But this charming, almost boyish disdain for a couple of dead snakes. It's almost too perfect.]
What guys? Oh, you mean these guys? [He picks them up, and one of the snakes wiggles fiercely. It's well and dead, nearly decapitated, it's just muscles contracting after death. Jack maintains his innocent expression.] Now why would I be freaked out?
[ Johnny realizes too late that he'd just given Jack the perfect weapon to use against him -- it isn't that he's terrified of snakes, he just really, really doesn't like them! They're weird and wriggly and they look funny!
So when the snake twitches, Johnny jumps and almost trips over Buddy, startled. But then that fades into indignation when he realizes just how smug his lover's becoming; damn that adorable, innocent face. He hates when Jack looks innocent, because that's normally when he's at his most devious. ]
Babe! God, that's not cool! [ Ugh, ugh, ugh -- imagine that thing crawling all over him. Nope. Noooope. ] Why's that still moving? I thought you said she killed it!
[Oh, his precious fireball. Jack has to bite his bottom lip to keep from downright giggling in his devious delight. Johnny doesn't have to prove his bravery to him, he's the most courageous man that Jack has ever met.
Which makes him all the more precious right now.]
Oh, she did. They do this sometimes, too stubborn to die even after their deaths. Like zombies. [Jack, please.] Which is why you must never go near the poisonous ones, even dead. They can still bite. And not in the pleasant ways that I bite you.
[ Your precious fireball might also be the most gullible idiot on the planet, because he's staring at the snake in his hand with a disgusted fascination. Much like, one supposes, the way a person looks at a crocodile in a tutu. ]
Really? [ And here he is, wide-eyed and believing that shit. WHY DO YOU DO THIS TO HIM, JACK? He's so grossed out by the snake he doesn't even stop to be horny about the whole Jack-biting-him thing. ] You shouldn't even be touching it then, Jack! C'mon, drop that! [ It might not be poisonous, but bites suck. ]
[ And, of course, there is a dawning realisation that Jack's probably played him -- but he can't get angry when he hears his prince laugh; that's like, what, twice in day? It's a rare and precious thing, and Johnny settles for huffing. ]
If you aren't cute as hell whenever you laugh, I'd be so mad at you right now.
[ But there is no question that Johnny would fearlessly face down a nest of venomous snakes for Jack if it came right down to it. Meanwhile, the varren is going over to investigate. ] Are you gonna make something for Shadow with it?
[Well, not entirely. Jack hasn't really told him anything that wasn't true. There might've been a bit of stretching here and there, and he definitely enjoyed the reactions that came from it.]
With what, the snakes? [Jack gets an older pillowcase to put the bodies in, tying it at the top to dispose of.] No, but I could always make you a nice belt.
[ Johnny announces indignantly as he follows after him, Buddy trotting at his heels with Shadow falling into pace with. BECAUSE THOSE BOOTS ARE HIS LIFE. ]
[ Oh, he's serious. Johnny pauses and looks back at him, a touch surprised. ]
Hey, hey. [ He's stepping towards him, cupping his face gently as he works to smooth it over. He presses his forehead to his, smiling. ] No, I won't. I've got you to think about.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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[ And, naturally drawn to the noise, Shadow slinks in and mews importantly, dropping two snakes onto the carpet. Someone has her own contributions to make. ]
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These aren't from the same nest as the ones she brought in this morning. [How does he know?] These aren't venomous.
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Nest? There's a nest of venomous snakes around? [ More importantly: ] How do you even know it isn't?
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[Jack strokes her head, proud of her too. She's doing what she can to make the spire safer too. He points to the snakes after Johnny's question.]
Shape of the head. It's more round than diamond shaped. The pupils are round instead of slits.
[He looks up with a smile.]
You're not afraid of snakes, are you Johnny?
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She's looking out for you too, Jack. ]
They're all wet and gross, Jack. How are you not freaked out by those guys?
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But this charming, almost boyish disdain for a couple of dead snakes. It's almost too perfect.]
What guys? Oh, you mean these guys? [He picks them up, and one of the snakes wiggles fiercely. It's well and dead, nearly decapitated, it's just muscles contracting after death. Jack maintains his innocent expression.] Now why would I be freaked out?
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So when the snake twitches, Johnny jumps and almost trips over Buddy, startled. But then that fades into indignation when he realizes just how smug his lover's becoming; damn that adorable, innocent face. He hates when Jack looks innocent, because that's normally when he's at his most devious. ]
Babe! God, that's not cool! [ Ugh, ugh, ugh -- imagine that thing crawling all over him. Nope. Noooope. ] Why's that still moving? I thought you said she killed it!
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Which makes him all the more precious right now.]
Oh, she did. They do this sometimes, too stubborn to die even after their deaths. Like zombies. [Jack, please.] Which is why you must never go near the poisonous ones, even dead. They can still bite. And not in the pleasant ways that I bite you.
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Really? [ And here he is, wide-eyed and believing that shit. WHY DO YOU DO THIS TO HIM, JACK? He's so grossed out by the snake he doesn't even stop to be horny about the whole Jack-biting-him thing. ] You shouldn't even be touching it then, Jack! C'mon, drop that! [ It might not be poisonous, but bites suck. ]
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He sighs, supposing he's had enough fun for one day. Jack stands up, snakes still in hand.]
I'll get rid of them, don't fret your pretty little head about it any longer.
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If you aren't cute as hell whenever you laugh, I'd be so mad at you right now.
[ But there is no question that Johnny would fearlessly face down a nest of venomous snakes for Jack if it came right down to it. Meanwhile, the varren is going over to investigate. ] Are you gonna make something for Shadow with it?
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With what, the snakes? [Jack gets an older pillowcase to put the bodies in, tying it at the top to dispose of.] No, but I could always make you a nice belt.
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[ Johnny says helpfully, coming over now that the snakes are in the pillowcase. Look, he's not scared, okay. ]
You know, I can't find my red ones.
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[He hates those boots. Jack takes the pillowcase and nods to him. They need out of there before the animals make a mess of the place.]
The one thing the Void would spit back out.
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[ Johnny announces indignantly as he follows after him, Buddy trotting at his heels with Shadow falling into pace with. BECAUSE THOSE BOOTS ARE HIS LIFE. ]
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You will not.
[And he knows Johnny's joking, or more that he wouldn't really go in with them if it came right down to it. But that's not the point.]
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Because you're gonna miss me, won't you?
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[Oh uh, the name. Jack means business.]
You're not to go near it. Ever.
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Hey, hey. [ He's stepping towards him, cupping his face gently as he works to smooth it over. He presses his forehead to his, smiling. ] No, I won't. I've got you to think about.
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Yes, you do. For starters.
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For starters? What comes next?